Week 2: Life with J

Life with Jaden

We made it! We survived the first 2 weeks.  Jaden actually has made it pretty easy on us first time parents, I've been the one who has made it hard on myself. I worry. I worry about everything, I worry that he is sleeping too much or not eating enough, I worry that he isn't breathing or that the soft spots on his head are too soft. I worry that the circumcision procedure he had on Friday will scar him for life or  I haven't done enough to help in his motor development and he is going to be a 4 year old learning to walk! He coughed once and spit up and after extensive googling I was convinced he had whooping cough. I cant believe I have become this mom, I have lived most of my 28 years of life fast-paced, adrenaline-seeking, adventure is around the corner kind of lifestyle...worrying about my sons color of poop or number of wet diapers everyday is the last place I thought I would be. I saw myself as a laid back mom that lets her son "tough it out" or "cry it out." Truth is, I'm a sucker, this little boy has me wrap around his finger. I can't believe how much I love him already. I've got to find a balance in this whole worrying business because it is starting to stress me out.  Logically all my worrying is completely invalid, he must be eating enough because  this boy has constant wet diapers (and walls and furniture and everything else he can aim for and wet when his diaper is off) and of course when he is in the jr high locker room he will thank us for the pain of the snip snip he had to endure for a few days! As far as motor development, I think I need to watch more episodes of Teen Mom on MTV or take a stroll through Walmart to see all the crazy people who somehow learned to walk, and  breath a bit because Jaden will learn to walk and if he doesn't....then I can look forward to some fantastic wheelchair racing!

All in all there is a lesson that God is teaching me about trust vs fear. Currently, Im in the Trusting 101 class and I have failed most of the test so far, but I'm determind to keep taking the class because I know this is a lesson that will follow throughout Jadens life. I want to be able to give up control and allow him to make mistakes, allow him to explore the world outside, and let him be free to be himself. Right now I'm not ready to do that, I want to protect him and keep him safe! I know with everything in the world right now I can't protect him forever. So for now I am learning my place, my job is to ultimately show him where to run when pain comes and introduce him to the ultimate comforter and healer.

(Still trying to figure out how to load photos from my phone onto here)